My Somewhere.

MAL.

2009-12-22T22:06:15Z

Day 22

Woo, I still have 20 mins to make the entry for today! .. hmmm, tho like the wrong day has stopped me before.. hum hum... oh well. So!

Website.... hmm, let's see, ah yes. This is it: myanimelist.net/profile/RjOkami

The reason I chose this site is because it's the main culprit for my active anime life this past fall. I find it fun to keep a list, even though at the same time it drives me to watch a lot more as I want to raise the numbers I have on my list. It is quite a cycle I tell you...

But the most positive thing about that site is that it has enabled me to find tons of awesome animes to watch that I would not have thought of on my own and also, if I've wanted some info on an anime I already knew about I could easily find it on there. It is ah, the greatest anime database I know! Everyone who even watches a little bit of anime should join! Wooo!

Nooo I ended up being 6 mins late, damnit!

Nobody's Home.

2009-12-16T16:25:52Z

Day 16

Well, this is going to be hard, not because it's difficult to think of a song that (nearly) makes me cry, but for the fact that there are so many of them. Yes, I am quite the crybaby. Believe it or not. I just don't want to let anyone know.... o shit, but I just did.

Here's a little list to give you an example:

Beautiful World - Utada Hikaru
This One (Crying like a Child) - Utada Hikaru
To Zanarkand - Nobuo Uematsu
Who Knew - P!nk
So What - P!nk (yes, even this! .. Not anymore tho)
Viva Forever - Spice Girls
Goodbye - Spice Girls
When it Rains - Paramore
Decode - Paramore
When You're Gone - Avril Lavigne
My Happy Ending - Avril Lavigne

So yeah, as you can see there are quite many... But I'll emphasize this one song on here now, as it really shook me for the fact that it's exactly how I felt in junior high / senior school.

Nobody's Home - Avril Lavigne

Well, I couldn't tell you
Why she felt that way, she felt it everyday
And I couldn't help her
I just watched her make the same mistakes again

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs?

She wants to go home but nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside with no place to go
No place to go to dry her eyes
Broken inside

Open your eyes
And look outside find the reasons why
You've been rejected
And now you can't find what you've left behind

Be strong, be strong now
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs?

She wants to go home but nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside with no place to go
No place to go to dry her eyes
Broken inside

Her feelings she hides, her dreams she can't find
She's losing her mind, she's fallen behind
And she can't find her place, she's losing her faith
She's fallen from grace, she's all over the place, yeah

She wants to go home but nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside with no place to go
No place to go to dry her eyes
Broken inside

She's lost inside, lost inside
She's lost inside, lost inside

IGNORANCE.

2009-12-12T20:15:16Z

Day 11/12

I will combine Day 11 and Day 12, as a recent photo of me is needed to depict what strikes my fancy at the moment....

... which would be my awesome Paramore shirt I got from the concert last night!!

Ignorance is your new best friend.

:)

I don't care about anything..

2009-12-10T18:33:51Z

Okay so I lied. I didn't come back and angst here. I managed to take a deep breath and get through the worst of it (or just got too tired of that shit so decided to pull myself together). I will write about the things that bug me at some point, but there's no rush at the moment.

And now for....

Day 10

Feel free to laugh, I do every time I see this picture. ^^

Angst, angst, angst..

2009-12-08T13:03:46Z

I think I might have to angst here a bit later today.
I feel so angsty at the moment that I am really angry.
Why do I have to make everything so damn difficult?
Angst...

<3

2009-12-07T17:57:38Z

Day 07

Who wouldn't be happy when looking at a little handsome man like that? :)

hohhotihoijaa..

2009-12-05T23:45:34Z

Okay, I have been consumed by slight angst and the fun thing is that I think it is mostly self-inflicted. Oh dear. :'D I am glad that it'll be xmas soon and I'll be going to Finland as that'll give me time to think on my own and what not..

I kinda feel like this at the moment:

Go away
Give me a chance to miss you
Say goodbye
It'll make me want to kiss you
I love you so
Much more when you're not here
Watchin all the bad shows
Drinking all of my beer

I don't believe Adam and Eve
Spent every goddamn day together
If you give me some room there will be room enough for two

Tonight
Leave me alone I'm lonely
Alone I'm lonely
I'm tired
Leave me alone I'm lonely
Alone I'm lonely tonight

I don't wanna wake up with another
But I don't wanna always wake up with you either
No you can't hop into my shower
All I ask for is one fuckin' hour
You taste so sweet
But I can't eat the same thing every day
Cuttin off the phone
Leave me the fuck alone
Tomorrow I'll be beggin' you to come home

Tonight
Leave me alone I'm lonely
Alone I'm lonely
I'm tired
Leave me alone I'm lonely
Alone I'm lonely tonight

Go away
Come back
Go away
Come back
Why can't I just have it both ways
Go away
Come back
Go away
Come back
I wish you knew the difference
Go away
Come back

Go away
Give me a chance to miss you
Say goodbye
It'll make me want to kiss you
Go away
Give me a chance to miss you
Say goodbye
It'll make me want to kiss you
Go away
Give me a chance to miss you
Say goodbye
It'll make me want to kiss you

Tonight
Leave me alone I'm lonely
Alone I'm lonely
I'm tired
Leave me alone I'm lonely
Alone I'm lonely tonight

Tonight
Leave me alone I'm lonely
Alone I'm lonely
I'm tired
Leave me alone I'm lonely
Alone I'm lonely tonight

Tonight
Go away
Give me a chance to miss you
Leave me alone I'm lonely
Alone I'm lonely
Say goodbye
It'll make me want to kiss you
I'm tired
Go away
Give me a chance to miss you
Leave me alone I'm lonely
Alone I'm lonely
Say goodbye
It'll make me want to kiss you
Tonight
Go away
Give me a chance to miss you
Say goodbye

I honestly am a pathetic piece of poo. :)

And I skipped a day again, but it wasn't my fault. Honestly.

05. "I know all the answers, but I might not tell" - The Cheshire Cat

What is there to say really? I think that fits me quite well, which is why it has grown to be my favourite quote ever since I felt like I was running some one-(wo)man student help service here. I know a lot of things and can fix quite a lot of things.. and there rarely is a debate/conversation/argument where I don't get the last word. "Why are you always right?" is something I hear a lot. :3

I'm a winter flower underground always thirsty for summer rain.

2009-12-03T22:09:39Z

Well I guess I shall give this a go, see how it goes..

I'll do a combined entry of day 01 and 02, since I really don't feel like doing 03 (and anyway, 01+02 = 03 ain't it?), so I shall skip that and I'll be right on schedule! ... For now.

Day 01 | Your favorite song
Day 02 | Your favorite movie
Day 03 | Your favorite television program
Day 04 | Your favorite book
~~Day 05 | Your favorite quote~~
Day 06 | Whatever tickles your fancy
~~Day 07 | A photo that makes you happy~~
Day 08 | A photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 09 | A photo you took
Day 10 | A photo of you taken over ten years ago
Day 11 | A photo of you taken recently
Day 12 | Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 13 | A fictional book
Day 14 | A non-fictional book
Day 15 | A fanfic
~~Day 16 | A song that makes you cry (or nearly)~~
Day 17 | An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
Day 18 | Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 19 | A talent of yours
Day 20 | A hobby of yours
Day 21 | A recipe
~~Day 22 | A website~~
Day 23 | A YouTube video
Day 24 | Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 25 | Your day, in great detail
Day 26 | Your week, in great detail
Day 27 | This month, in great detail
Day 28 | This year, in great detail
Day 29 | Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 | Whatever tickles your fancy

01. Beautiful World by Utada Hikaru

Since I am nice, I shall post the English translation instead of the original lyrics:

It’s only love…
It’s only love…

If I could only have one desire fulfilled,
I would wish to be sleeping by your side, wherever that may be
In this beautiful world.
I gaze at your determined figure -
What a beautiful boy.
Yet, you are unable to see your own beauty.

It’s only love...

Eating, sleeping and breathing comics,
I hated myself in that passing dream filled with those images.

I know that I don’t know what I want,
Nonetheless, I want it... As tepid tears stream down my cheeks.

I really have nothing I want to say to you,
But I still want to see you one more time.
The things that I want to say – I cannot say.
Perhaps I am a coward,
But it’s alright.

If I were to have only one wish fulfilled,
It would be to lie sleeping by your side, it doesn’t matter where that is
In this beautiful world.
I keep gazing at your determined figure -
What a beautiful boy.
Yet, you still can’t see the beauty within you.

It’s only love...

Trying my hand at almost anything,
It all seems at a loss... Perhaps besides gaining some experience.

I don’t see the need for newspapers,
The things that are most important to people are not even in there.
Have you been taking care of yourself recently?
So long as you are well,
I’ll be fine.

If I don’t get to see you even when my world disappears,
As long as I am resting beside you, any place is bearable
In this beautiful world.
In the midst of these fleeting days
There stands a beautiful boy.
My ever-shifting moods, nothing can be done to help them.

If I could only have one wish fulfilled,
It would be to be there lying by your side.

Beautiful world... Beautiful boy...
Beautiful world... Beautiful boy...
Beautiful world... Beautiful boy...

If there's even one person here who didn't see Utada coming here, then I am truly amazed. This song captured my attention the moment I heard it for the first time. Whenever I listen to it I really do feel like I am living in a beautiful world and I become really happy. I find it amazing that it always has the power to make me feel like that every damn time. I love it to the point that I was even considering getting a tattoo of "It's only love" above my elbow. I really love that line, because I feel that what I have to offer others is only love. If it's enough or not, that's up to you...

02. The Garden of Sinners 5: Paradox Spiral

I really really love the Garden of Sinners movie series. They keep getting better movie by movie and reach their utmost high in the 5th installment (6th isn't that good, and dunno about 7th yet since still 2 weeks to go for that, wooo I am excited!). I love Paradox Spiral, because it tries so hard to confuse you (which would happen mind you, if you didn't pay attention) and it is done so beautifully. Nothing really happens chronologically in it and it keeps you guessing on the real order of events for most of the movie. The feeling at the end though, when you've pieced it all together on your own, is truly amazing. Plus Aozaki Touko is just the embodiment of awesomeness, I wanna be like her when I grow up. :D

ALSO!!!! I am such a no-life that I made another AMV. It turned out a lot better than I thought, never really imagined it could even reach the same level as the first one I made, but I am mighty proud of this as well. So do watch. :)

CANAAN - I'm Not Dead by P!nk.

I have already received a request from my friend for yet another AMV, but I think I shall leave that for later before I really fall behind on assignments miserably haha.

Are watashi no da.

2009-12-01T02:25:03Z

Still no luck with the tickets.. I am going mental here. But it doesn't hurt so bad anymore, I have to say I was really touched today when I was talking about it and Maria said that it's a huge shame and that she would have really wanted to see Utada too. I thought I was completely alone in this and frankly I was kinda scared to even suggest to anyone that maybe they could come along if I go, as I figured no one for sure would've.. but she even said she's willing to pay more than she normally would for a concert since this is quite the rare opportunity. :) Aaaw. I definitely understand newwie and Kent a lot more these days than I used to. <3

Okay so. Now for the real reason I decided to update here now. I registered on youtube today for the sole purpose of sharing my great masterpiece to the world, for example by putting it on this entry! This is the first AMV (anime music video) I have ever made, so I would really appreciate some comments (read=compliments) from you all! I am mighty proud of it as the lyrics and the scenes go so well that it had me laughing throughout the whole process of making it. :)

OH and if you are on youtube as well, do add me to your friends (www.youtube.com/rjokami)! .. If I am considered a friend that is. :<

And btw, lumikello, I am going to force you to watch CANAAN (the anime I made my amv from) whenever you decide to pop by and visit, you like it or not! I am totally in love and obsessed with it at the moment, it is definitely one of my top favorites if not the very top one actually. It is only 13 episodes long so should be doable. :)

Get out, I shot, get out.

2009-11-24T19:03:06Z

Well since I promised newwie that I'd write a new entry, here it is!

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT; I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT. I have been obsessing about Utada Hikaru (like you've probably noticed) more than ever lately, and what happens? A great wave of excitement and major disappointment all in one intake of breath! You see, I happened to stumble upon the info that SHE has a GIG in LONDON, the only gig she ever has had in Europe, next February. The chance of a lifetime - AND IT'S FKIN SOLD OUT. This would've been fine if I was like even a week late in finding out about this, but for once I was actually right on time, and still I missed out. Tickets went in less than a few hours. GODDAMMIT. Every time I think about this I get angry. Okay sure, there are a couple of tickets on sale at the moment, for £300............ Someone somewhere really hates me. Utadaaaaa, I wanna see you.... my heart aches, it aches......

On a brighter note, we went paintballing last Sunday and it was amazingly fun! My aim was a lot better than I thought and I even managed to score my team most of our points (sadly we did lose anyway) by capturing a flag and poling a few hoops. I was running around crazy and I felt like Rambo, honestly. I did fall prey to quite a few headshots though, resulting in me eating some paint, but was definitely worth it! Though now in hindsight I am not quite sure, as I can barely walk with these aching thighs of mine and stairs especially really really kill me...

Today I went to the University only to find out that our lecture was cancelled, so I got to go home right away. I walked a bit with Billy and I was complaining about the cancellation and he just stated that it was worth coming just to be able to kiss me today. Ehehehee. :3

Which reminds me, I finally told my parents about him last weekend, woop woop. And ah, the avalanche of questions that followed....

I am too much of an otaku these days. Blargh.

KETTOBASE!

2009-11-08T14:34:30Z

I have been stressing a lot about schoolwork lately. I feel like I am not getting anything done no matter how much I try and it makes me feel really horrible. I think the main reason for my stress is the fact that i got so many As last year that I kinda feel pressured to keep up the high standard. But stressing like this isn't going to get me there is it? I try to take a deep breath, and remember that at this point last year I hadn't done much work yet either. So you can do it Roosa, KETTOBASE!

It's good though, that there are little things that make me feel so much better:
- Utada Hikaru has been a total lifesaver, I am so in love with her. Can't really expect anything less from her, her music was a great help for me when I studied for my math finals too! I watched this video of some enthusiastic fan trying to grab her ass unsuccessfully while getting his picture taken with her, and my friend newtype510 said that if it was me, I'd have pounced on top of her before the security guys had a chance to react... That is probably quite close to the truth, I admit.
- Every time mom calls I just feel really happy.
- Every time my Billy does/says something cute I get a Rena (Higurashi no Naku Koro ni) moment and just wanna squeal and say "I wanna take joooo home~!". This is what I mean: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcyueUVeuJ8.
- MY friends, what would I do without them I wonder? :)

Got this from newwie!
* Reply to this meme by typing "WORMS" (why worms tho, I think WALRUS would be more fun!)
* I will then give you 5 words that remind me of you.
* Then post them in your LJ and explain what they mean to you.

Pokémon

My obsession with Pokémon has a really weird beginning I have to say. It all began when I lived in the States and a Japanese classmate of mine was discussing it with his friends, and for some reason I heard it as "Spookyman", and I thought it to be quite peculiar. I really wanted to know what it was so I asked one of his friends, who drew me a picture of few Pokémon while explaining, but since her pictures didn't make much sense I was still clueless, and I think she noticed as she told me the channel and time it was on TV the next day. Then all of a sudden it was all crystal clear and i was completely hooked in this mystery that had finally been solved. I loved the concept, since I had always wanted a pet but thought I could never have one since many from my family were allergic, so I fantasized about being a Pokémon trainer, as surely, you couldn't be allergic to them could you? Nowadays though, I think the most important aspect of Pokémon for me is the fact that Pikachu reminds me strongly of my really good friend. *Waves to newwie* :)

Singing

Well, if you've spent even a little time with me, you've probably noticed that I have a habit of singing randomly a lot. I probably couldn't live without singing, it's one of the most effective ways for me to relieve stress and attain euphoria. Honestly, I know nothing better than to drive around with the car listening to music and singing to your heart's content. I don't know how good I'm at singing, but I like to think I ain't bad at least.

Orange

Okay this is a tough one, just for the fact that the colour orange doesn't really mean anything to me in itself. It's a lovely colour, but not my favourite in any way. There are a couple of associations to orange that mean a lot to me though.
1. Bugs Bunny. Honestly almost every item that has to do with Bugs, has an orange background. I blame the carrots! Haha no honestly, I think it is a nice colour pairing, Bugs and orange, and I love my orange Bugs towel and flashlight and wish I had that huge teacup too...
2. Utada's song "Colors". Yes, I just had to somehow squeeze Utada in here as well. I love the line of the song where she sings: "ORENJI iro no yuuhi o tonari de miteru dake de yokatta no ni na", which means "Watching the orange colors of the setting sun with you was wonderful". I think it's really cute how you can always pick up when she says orenji, even if you don't know any Japanese.
3. I like carrots, since I aspired to be a rabbit when I was little.

Drawing

I don't even know when I started drawing, as far as I'm concerned, I believe I've drawn since like forever. It was my passion for so very long and I really wanted to be a comic artist when I grew up and I even spent 10 years in art school. I have to say I am pretty glad that I got this word, even though the person I got them from has known me mostly thorough the period when I was going through a drawing burnout and didn't really draw anything. I am ashamed to admit that this went on for over 3 years. I have started again last summer and I do love it again like I used to, and I am really relieved about that.

P!nk

What can I say? I think P!nk is one of the greatest present day artists. I have no idea what first made me like her, it was such a long time ago and it seems like it just happened, without any specific reason. I love it how she says things straight out in her songs and no matter what goes on in her life, her songs keep up the same level of quality. I also can't believe how many of her songs seem to fit so well to my situations in life. To name a few, I'd say "Walk Away", "Who Knew", "Don't Let Me Get Me", "Why Did I Ever Like You", and I admit "So What" had me nearly crying at the clubs last fall. "So What" actually became something special for me and my friend, as we were both in a similar situation and found a lot of comfort in singing it together I believe.

Done! :D

:3

2009-10-29T22:58:20Z

Istuttiin tänää bussissa käsi kädessä.

Killing Time..

2009-10-23T15:00:49Z

Well since I got tagged by lumikello, I have no choice but to obey and do my part.. I'm easily manipulated like that. o:

i. List 10 celebrities you would have sex with without asking questions.
ii. Put them in order of your lust for them.
iii. Supply photos for said people.
iv. Say which movie/show/thing it was that hooked you.
v. Tag 5 people: aelehtien, kantarelli, nanazbananaz, newwie, newtype510

----

Okay so, I thought this would be hard since I seem to only lust after anime characters if anything, but this came easily enough and I had even a few choices to spare!

10. Jackie Earle Haley [Rorschach from Watchmen]

Haley made my list purely for the fact that he played Rorschach so well in Watchmen and capturing Rorschach's true essence is not something that can be done easily, especially to the extend that it even pleases such a fan as myself. Watching him play Rorschach was a mental orgasm thorough the whole movie. So, give me some retribution please Haley!

09. Jackie Chan [Him in all his movies]

And another Jackie right after the other! I have loved all his movies since I was a little kid and I simply adore the way he can use his body.

08. Will Smith [Del Spooner from I Robot / Chris Gardner from Pursuit of Happyness]

He managed to touch me deeply with his great performance as Gardner in Pursuit of Happyness and after that I can't help but drool after him with every movie I watch of him. And that body, ahh!

07. Damien Lewis [Charlie Crews from Life]

I really love his personality in Life and his weird jokes. Just the kind of man I'd like to have! Thanks to my affection for Charlie Crews, I can't help but aaw/aah whenever I see him in any other movie/show, even if he happened to play a wife beater or what not.

06. Johnny Depp [All his movies]

I've lusted for Depp since who knows when, so I can't really pin-point what movie started it all. It has gone to the point that any movie that has Depp in it must be great just because I can stare at him (even though they usually are good movies in any case). And yes, I admit, I have a thing for guys who look like this.. Even chose a pic that really emphasizes that point.

05. Black Michael Jackson [All his songs]

Okay I don't know how valid Jackson is for this list, considering that he looked different later and is now dead, but I just had to add him in any case. He has influenced my life so much and I do love him and try to understand him to the best of my abilities.

04. Anyone from Paramore [Their songs: Fences / Caught Myself / Ignorance]

I fell in love with Paramore pretty much right away when my brother introduced me to their music. Their lyrics get me every time and they seem like awesome people. And look great too! Yummy!

03. Heath Ledger [Patrick Verona from 10 Things I hate About You]

I started to like him all the way back when 10 Things I hate About You came out, thanks to my sister hyping about him. I do admit I forgot about him for a while, but then he entered my world again with a bang with so many awesome performances which were so different from each other; Brokeback Mountain, Dark Knight, Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus... Again though, I managed to pick a dead man and I apologize. But Heath Ledger, even tho dead, continues to warm my heart.

02. Lee Pace [Ned from Pushing Daisies]

Ahhh Lee Pace! I was addicted the moment I started watching Pushing Daisies. He's so cute and ooh, look at all that pie (was gonna say some awesome "pie" reference here, but I shall restrain myself)! I sure do know I wouldn't want to have a relationship like Chuck has with him in the series, I wanna touch him, get my hands on him... you get the picture.

01. Utada Hikaru [Her song: Beautiful World]

Utadaaaaaaaa take me now! Man I don't know how this woman does it, but her songs are unbelievable. Some are funny and the lyrics are so interesting I can't help but laugh in my mind when I listen to some of them, while others are so touching and beautiful (like Beautiful World) that I just feel so touched and emotional. She's one of the only people I would gladly be gay for.

It's our problem-free philosophy!

2009-10-21T23:05:44Z

Okay so, I have to say I had the weirdest conversations in a while tonight when we went to the pub.

Topic #1: About killer condoms and Germany. Do they sell killer condoms in Germany and which participant do they kill, the wearer or the "receiver"?
Conclusion: Arla will investigate the matter if she goes to Berlin in January.

Topic #2: About closets, Shakira and Narnia. They showed the She Wolf video at the pub, and as she sings in the chorus "There's a She Wolf in the closet" I commented that she's so far in the closet that her ass shows up in Narnia, and that's how it all began.... like, if you're stuck in Narnia, how do you get past Shakira's ass to get to the closet, do you have to go through it?
Conclusion: You don't have to go through Shakira to get to Narnia, and Shakira's ass is not in Joni's closet.

Topic #3: About me and sandwiches. If I was sandwich filling who would be the bottom half of the bread and who'd be the top half? And is it actually the top and bottom half or front and back half?
Conclusion: No conclusion.

Topic #4: About origins of shoujo-ish anime. Are most shoujo-ish animes based on hentai games or not, and how can you know if you don't have any knowledge of such games? More importantly, do you even WANT to know?
Conclusion: Me and Maria resolved everything by acting out this sequence, without actual props mind you: www.youtube.com/watch?v=WU3JVJHWoIw, and YES that indeed resolves everything.

Topic #5: About temporary pain and continuous temporarity. Joni said he had snorted salt once and it caused temporary pain. Is all pain temporary and even if you're in pain all your life, is it still temporary since (presumably) it'll end once you die?
Conclusion: Pain is temporary to the point where you are in pain more often than not, in that case not feeling pain is what is temporary.

Topic #6: You don't give a fuck?
Conclusion: Sometimes.

Oblivious.

2009-10-19T00:34:39Z

In truth, because I knew how to fly,
I feared the time when I had to flap my wings, and forgot about the wind

oblivious
where should we head to?
the mirage that we can see from far away
in due time, it will reflect our futures
in trepidation

When two hearts that have lost their oasis nestle each other,
only then, will true sadness spread its wings

oblivious
in the middle of the night
just like dreaming of the midday shadows
we will definitely fall
into the light.

Some day, together with you, we will forget
the night, the morning, the afternoon, the stars, the dreams
the summers, the winters, time, the winds,
the waters, the lands, the sky...
we go further in the destiny...

oblivious
stay beside me alright?
this silent love is going to start
someday, while trembling
we will proceed into our future -

oblivious
where should we head to?
let's run away into the midst of the distant waters
With a beautiful voice
let us sing about
our future...

I wonder what it is with me and these kind of songs these days.
In any case, I love this song as well. :D

And maybe, some things are that simple..

2009-10-13T23:30:37Z

Okei, eli siis, juu. Alotetaampa ihan alusta..

Mulla oli kesällä suunnitelma. Mun luennoilla on yks semmonen poika, johon en ollenkaa kiinnittäny jostain ihme syystä huomiota viime vuonna. En oo vielkä keksiny mikä se syy vois olla, mutta niin vaan oli. Lisäsin sen sitte ihan muuten vaan facebookissa toukokuussa vaik en ollu siis koskaan jutellu sille, tiesin vaa et se oli mun luennoilla. Kesällä sitte kommentoitiin toistemme quiz-tuloksia ja mitä lie ja vasta sillon tajusin sen olemassaolon kunnolla. Ja mietin et haa, oispa hauskaa jos...

Noh, mua sitte mietitytti aikalailla, että mitäs sit ku ollaan taas täällä Worcissa, ollaanko taas niinku ekana vuonna eikä huomata toisiamme, vai oisiko asia muuttunut? Ja asia oli muuttunu tosiaankin... heti luentojen alusta asti se jotenki aina sattu istumaan mun viereen. Se liitty myös WIN:iin ku mä pyysin, hih.

Tokalla viikolla kävin sen luona kylässä, ku se oli tehny sushia sillä nimittäin ahneen olemukseni tapaan halusin päästä osalliseksi sen syömisestä. Olin siellä aika pitkään. Ja mua huvitti. Mua huvitti ankarasti. Arvelin etten mä ollut ainoo jolle oli kesän aikana tullu jonkin moisia ajatuksia... ja mua huvitti. Toisaalta mun teki mieli vaa juosta kiljuen pakoon, koska mua ahdisti jostain syystä hyvin paljon se, että asiat vois mennä näin helposti. Ja mua ahdistaa vieläkin. Ja mua vähän pelottaa et oon tyhmä ja juoksen vaa sen takia karkuun....

No, tänään sitte oli ne tän viikon ekat ns. "treffit", jotka sitten lopulta oli ihan treffitreffit. Menin taas käymään sen luona ja meidän oli tarkotus syödä ja katto leffa. Kuten siis tehtiinkin, don't get me wrong. Tosin aluks vaa juteltiin... ja sit.. ja sit... se yhtäkkiä hiljeni ja pussas mua ja mielessäni karjahdin "ARRGGHHHHH" ja teki mieli taas vaihteeks juosta karkuun, mutta hillitsin itseni. Ja no, ehkä tää tästä. Se saatto mut mun kujan päätyyn ja halas mua sillai niinku mä olisin arvokkain asia maailmassa. ARH, Mä en saa olla tyhmä. Roosa muistaa nyt, ettei saa olla tyhmä eikä tehdä mitään tyhmää. Hengitän vaa syvään, enkä tee mitään tyhmää. Ei mitään tyhmää. EI TYHMÄ.

Nyt se laitto facebookissa et oltas yhes, ja mun tekis taas mieli vaa hypätä ikkunasta ku ahdistaa. En siis vielä ole confirmannut, mutta kai se pitäs tehdä...

Ja siis vaikka mua ahdistaakin ja mitä lie, nii kyl mä siit tyypistä tykkään. Mä oon vaa tämmönen urvelo, joka ei oo tottunu siihe et asiat vois joskus mennä vaa putkeen..

Pähkinänkuori.

2009-10-12T01:20:41Z

Okei, joo mun "kirjotan sitte huomenna" vähän veny, mut ainakin sain hienon layoutin itelleni väsättyä tänne ja oonki täällä taputellu itteäni olalle siitä hyvästä jo viimeset pari tuntia. Hyvä minä!

Mutta joo, asiaan. Yritän ny tähä suht tiivistetysti kirjata joitakin tärkeitä asioita.

Kovan taiston ja odotuksen jälkeen meille vihdoin tuli toissaviikolla netti ja kaikki oli taas vaihteeks mun ansiota. Voisin tästäkin hyvästä onnitella itseäni. Konffasin jopa sen meidän nettipurkin nii mulla on ylinvoima sen käyttöön, eli periaattees voisin disconnectata kaikki muut netistä ihan millo haluun. Ah, the power! Mut joskus ois kiva ettei mun tarvis ihan kaikkee hoitaa.. hoh.

Mä en kauheen hyvin oo vielä onnistunu sopeutumaan siihen, et koulu on alkanu ja läksyjäkin pitäs tehä. Mä toivon et tää johtuu vaan siitä et kestää jonki aikaa päästä kesän laiskuudesta normireippauteen, mut sais kyllä pikkuhiljaa alkaa sieltä tulla.. oon laiska paska enkä haluis olla. Ainaki mä oon ny paremmis väleis kaikkien computing-opiskelijoiden kanssa ku oon vähä aktiivisempi ollu siltä kannalta nyt tänä syksynä.

Mun pitäs huomenna mennä ostamaan ittelleni siistit housut tai jotain vastaavaa, ku sinne scholarship-tilaisuuteen on formal-pukeutuminen. Rasittavaa. Mut kyllä sitä £1000 edestä voi ton verran edes nähdä vaivaa, siis sen tuskan ja työn lisäks minkä ansiosta mä oon ylipäänsä sitä nyt saamassa. Mut ihme juttu kyl, koht mä oon suht rikas, enkä vieläkää oikein pysty kunnolla sisäistämään asiaa.

Päätin olla vähän realistisempi sen work placement asian suhteen, ku mitä alkujaan aioin ja ajattelin tähdätä Bristolin HP:lle, siis Hewlett-Packardille, jonkun pelifirman sijaan, ku isukilla on sinne jotain suhteita. Ehdinhän mä niitä pelifirmoja häiriköidä sitten myöhemmin, kun mulla on jo jotain kokemusta IT-alan maailmasta. HP:lla sentään ois hyvä palkka taattu (olikoha jotai £15000 koko ajanjaksolta?)ja voisin kuitenkin jatkaa Worcissa asumista, kun Bristol on sen verran lähellä.

Meillä on aika mahtava idea ensi kesän Animeconia varten, ja ah, en vaan malta odottaa!

Kuulemma viime yönä känninen Allu oli kovasti ettiny mua mesessä ja onnekseni en sattunut olemaan paikalla. Juttelin kyllä sen kanssa jonkin aikaa tänään päivällä ja olin aika ylpeä itestäni ja kuinka vähän mä oikeesti välitin. Ihme tyyppi kyllä, ku sille tulee näitä "täytyy puhua Roosalle" -kausia, tosin onhan se toisaalta ymmärrettävää, ku mä oon elintärkeä osa kaikkien elämää, mutta silti..

Mul on täl viikolla luvassa kahet ns. "treffit". Hihii, aika jänskää. :)

Siitä sitten enemmän ensi kerralla..

Yare yare..

2009-10-10T00:37:43Z

Hmmmm... I guess I should post a new entry.

And no, this one doesn't count.

Maybe tomorrow I'll do that.

In the meanwhile though, I'll leave you with the song I am currently obsessing about:

Michael.

2009-06-27T22:12:44Z

Mä en jotenkaa vaa vieläkää pysty uskomaan sitä et Michael Jackson on kuollut. Ei sitä koskaa aatellu et se oikeesti menis joskus niin tekemään ku se on kuitenki aika paljolti liioittelematta ollu osa mun elämää alusta alkaen. Mut nyt sitä ei oo enää (tietty sen musa tulee elämään ikuisesti mut)ja mä en pysty edes sanoin kuvaamaan miten paljon mua harmittaa etten mä kerenny nähdä sitä livenä edes kertaalleen. Ja oikeesti miten tekopyhää paskaa se on ku ihmiset nyt ylistää sen maasta taivaisiin vaik sillo ku se oli viel elos nii ne vaa paheksu sitä ja kritisoi sen puuhia? Siis oikeesti, se mies ois ansainnu sen et ihmiset ois maininnu ton asian jo sillo ku se oli viel elävien kirjoissa, ja must tuntuu et se ois ollu jotai mitä se ois halunnu ja tarvinnuki kuulla...

It's only love..

2009-06-06T21:25:25Z

Tää viimenen viikko on ollut suhteellisen merkillinen.

Viimeisenä päivänä Worcissa käytiin siellä kiinalaisessa buffetissa ekan vuoden päättymisen kunniaksi. Saatatte ehkä muistaa, et sillo aikoja sitte se yks tarjoilijatyttö sieltä bongas mut Trampsissa ja tervehti sen takii et se tunnisti mut buffetin asiakkaaks. Niin no, nyt se sitten oli ensimmäistä kertaa sen jälkeen töissä silloin ku mä olin siellä syömässä. Se oli aika mukavaa ku se tuli siinä sitte yhessä vaiheessa juttelee (vähä enemmän ku oisin odottanu) ja sanoin sille sitten et on mun vika päivä maisemissa ja se järkytty kovin ja kysy et enkä mä tuu enää koskaan takasin, hihi. Vastasin et tuun takas kyl sitte syyskuussa ja se vaikutti suht helpottuneelta. Hauska että mun läsnäolo on sille nii tärkeetä. :D

Sit sillo aikasin aamulla ku lähettiin nii yks kiva poika nosti mun ison matkalaukun junaan ja istu sitte meidän kaa samalle riville mut toiselle puolelle käytävää. Sen koko matkan se vilkuili mua ja katto aina muualle jos Maria huomas. Sit siin ku se jäi ennen meitä nii se sano moi siin ku se lähti. :)

Aika jännää sinänsä, en sillai aatellu et tyyppeihin vaa rändömisti tutustus tol taval, vähän niinku sex and the cityssä.

Hoh hoh, sit ku lentokoneessa vaihdoin Suomi-SIM:in takas puhelimeen nii kyllä tippu leuka lattiaan. Sain nimittäin tekstarin silt yhelt jäbält mun ekalt protuleirilt jonka kans olin leffassa käyny ja josta tiesin et se oli sillo aikoinaan muhu aika kuses.. Joka myös sillo lähetti mulle sen runon tekstarina joskus Kallion ekana vuonna jos jotku teistä muistaa... :D Mut siis oikeesti pelottavaa, se edelleen muistaa millo on mun synttärit. Mä en ees muista sen sukunimee! Sit se kyseli multa et näytänkö edelleen samalta ja et onko mulla kuvia jossai... siis mist mä kerään näit tyyppei jotka ilosesti juoksee mun perässä vuosi tolkulla??

Oli myös outoa ku tossa ku vietiin niitä meidän kamoja meidän ens vuoden kämppään muutama viikko sitte, nii yks mun vanha luokkalainen yläasteelta jota en sitte sillo sietäny laisinkaa lisäs mut facebookissa ja sano et olin haukkunu sitä pervoks ja töykeäks jollai foorumeil viitisen vuotta sitte. :D Ahaa, no kävin sitte sen poistamassa sieltä foorumilta (en edes muistanut semmosta ja pakko sanoo ettei oo mitään käsitystä miks mä sitä pervoks luulin... oon ite paljon pahempi :'D) ja sitte se ylipuhu mut alottamaan Bujinkanin tääl Suomessa.... ja nyt sitte näänki sitä pari kertaa viikossa. Olin jopa tossa toissapäivänä sen luona kylässä ja se teki mulle lettuja. Kyllä se elämä osaa ihmetyttää...

Kai oon juossu menneisyyttä karkuun liian pitkään jo. Kyllä se pakostiki joskus mut kiinni saa. Mut ehkä se on ihan jees kohdataki vanhat skeletonssit, nii pääsee jatkamaan elämää henkisesti kasvaneena ja paremmalla mielellä. :) Kutsuin jopa noi molemmat mun synttärikemuille, plus sen yhen joka on juossu mun perässä yli neljä vuotta, saa nähä saapuuko ne paikalle.. jos niin, nii ehkä kadun sitä myöhemmi. x'D

Ja täs mun tän hetkinen lempparibiisi, joka on must tosi kaunis (ja joo, tiiän jopa mitä siinä sanotaan noin suurinpiirtein :'D)

Beautiful World - Utada Hikaru

It's only love
It's only love

もしも願い一つだけ叶うなら
君の側で眠らせて　どんな場所でもいいよ
Beautiful world
迷わず君だけを見つめている
Beautiful boy
自分の美しさ　まだ知らないの

It's only love

寝ても覚めても少年マンガ
夢見てばっか　自分が好きじゃないの

何が欲しいか分からなくて
ただ欲しがって　ぬるい涙が頬を伝う

言いたいことなんか無い
ただもう一度会いたい
言いたいこと言えない
根性無しかもしれない
それでいいけど

もしも願い一つだけ叶うなら
君の側で眠らせて　どんな場所でもいいよ
Beautiful world
迷わず君だけを見つめている
Beautiful boy
自分の美しさ　まだ知らないの

It's only love

どんなことでもやってみて
損をしたって　少し経験値上がる

新聞なんかいらない
肝心なことが載ってない
最近調子どうだい？
元気にしてるなら
別にいいけど

僕の世界消えるまで会えぬなら
君の側で眠らせて　どんな場所でも結構
Beautiful world
儚く過ぎて行く日々の中で
Beautiful boy
気分のムラは仕方ないね

もしも願い一つだけ叶うなら
君の側で眠らせて

Beautiful world... Beautiful boy...
Beautiful world... Beautiful boy...
Beautiful world... Beautiful boy...

Ja näin tuli meikäläisen vika päivä teininä päätökseen. :)

raga_muffinssi @ 2009-05-11T16:44:00

2009-05-11T15:45:36Z

"So? Everyone wants stuff. We wake up everyday with a list of wishes a mile long and maybe we spend our lives trying to make those wishes come true, but just because we want them doesn't mean we need them to be happy."
- The Pie Maker

Jahas..

2009-05-04T23:52:15Z

Se puhuu mulle taas. Joo, just se.

Se sano et se oli aatellu tehä niin vasta mun synttäreinä, mut mä en oikein tajuu sen logiikkaa... miks mä mun synttärein sille haluaisin puhua? Oisko sen muka pitäny olla mulle joku synttärilahja vai? Joku kyllä luulee itestään taas vähän liikoja.. Ja sit se toistamiseen hoki sitä et ollaan oltu kyllä hänen mielestään liian pitkään puhumatta ja hän mainitsikin asiasta tolle ja tolle. Raukalla ei näytä olevan muuta puheenaihetta... Sain sitä mukavasti järkytettyä sillä et kutsuin sitä ihan sen nimellä enkä millää lempinimiväännöksel, mut en kyllä tajua mitä se taas kuvittelee... miks mä mitää lempinimii käyttäsin enää? :'D voi lol.

Mutta jeps, kuten olen aika monesti jo todennu, ei mua haittaa olla sen kaa enää täs vaihees kavereit. Pakko kyllä sanoa että jotkut sen kommentit eilen oli kyllä semmosta luokkaa, että vähän tuntuu siltä että se on sen verran katumapäällä et se haluis enemmän ku mitä mä oon enää sille valmis antamaan. Oli pariin otteeseen kyllä semmonen kunnon anteeksi mitä fiilis.

No saapa nähä mitä tuleva tuo tullessaan. Sen mä oon päättäny et oon tosi mukava (voi sitte itkeä itsensä uneen joka yö) ja pidän sopivan etäisyyden.

Quite absurd..

2009-04-30T17:35:35Z

It finally sunk into my conscious side of the brain that I will probably be spending 4 years in this University, instead of 3. Why, you ask? Because in a nutshell, it is the most beneficial thing for me to do. And why is that? Well, simply because I am offered this great chance of taking a work placement year after my 2nd year of studies. That way, I'll get some hands on experience in my field quite early on and with good luck, the company I took the placement in, will want me back after I finish my 3rd year and due to the fact that I have worked there before, I will be able to start with a bigger salary than I otherwise would.

Oh and hear this, if I happen to go to a big company like let's say Microsoft or IBM for instance, they'll give me all sorts of nice perks like a company car!! O__________O I kinda find it absurd that me, at the age of, what, 21 (!), would already have a company car to use!!

*dies of massive shocoloco (read = shock)*

Woot?

2009-04-23T17:48:45Z

Okay, so, I'm a bit baffled now. I got this e-mail from the computing course leader saying:

"An invitation for selected students:

I would like to invite you to lunch on Friday 9th May 12.15 – 2.15."

Well there is a slight catch, since we'll have to give some feedback on all the modules and such, but free food is free food.

But now for the good stuff. Only 3 people from each year were invited, so only 2 other first years in addition to me. So how likely is it that one of those 2 people, is that German dude (most of you should probably know why this is AWKWARD....)????? Someone honestly has something against me...

Right-o..

2009-03-31T14:27:47Z

I just can't help but wonder, how the hell did I end up being a maid in our upcoming mask performance?